We Found It Necessary to Stick With Winners In Order to Grow
When I first got sober I had a difficult time changing the people, places, and things around me. I thought I could manage to stay abstinent while at the same time continue to hangout and talk to people that I used to drink, get high, and party with as well as people that were still actively getting high. This created a barrier in my ability to really throw myself into really working the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous thoroughly and honestly. I ended up relapsing two times before I stayed sober. I learned of the phrase "we found it necessary to stick with winners in order to grow."
What is a winner?
To me, a winner is someone that will push me to do things in my daily life to the best of my abilities. Someone that will encourage me to take the next most loving action for myself and others even when I don't want to. The people I surround myself with can see me more clearly than I can see myself so I want to surround myself with those people. A winner is someone who tells me the things I need to hear even when I don't want to hear them in order to help me grow. A winner is someone who is able to ask for help and knows when to ask for help. They take action on the things they can change. Someone who can live in the moment and someone who can see the good in the bad. Someone who does the good things even when they aren't feeling good. If I call someone and tell them I want to get high or drink and they encourage me to do that, then they are not a winner for me. If I call someone else and they encourage me to not get high and they stay on the phone with me until the urge goes away for example, then they are a winner for me. Winners are people that are sober and want to be sober. They are people that aren't okay with the getting high lifestyle.
I had to take a deep look into why I was abstinent but still felt horrible. It is easy to stay sober but it is another thing to live sober. I can't be sober and continue to steal, lie, cheat, and do the same behaviors I did while getting high. That will only lead me back to a drink or a drug and I'll be right back in the same spot I left off on. It was a long process for me to realize this and that process includes a lot of treatment and multiple relapses but I eventually caught on to this concept of sticking with winners and my life looks nothing like it did back then. Today, I don't talk to anyone that parties, drinks, or does drugs. I have built a safety net of people that I trust and that I know work their programs honestly and thoroughly. I am able to call these people and lean on these people when I am going through my own ups and downs. This concept helped me a lot because I am a young person. I was 18 when I tried to get sober the first time and I didn't get sober and stay sober until I was 19. I am 20 years old now. I think young people have a difficult time stepping away from the negative lifestyle and people they surrounded themselves with when they were still getting high/drinking and don't see that continuing to hangout with these people is effecting them negatively while trying to stay sober. I know that was true for me.
ACTIVITY
Write down what a winner is to you/your own definition of a winner.
Create a list of people, places, and things that are winners for you.
Make a list of things and ideals you have on how to be a winner for yourself.
Create a safety net of 5 people you really trust that you can call and talk to. People you feel safe and comfortable being honest with.
By: Jessica Vincent
Head of the Tree of Hope Blog
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