After We Think We Know

Inspired by NA Just for Today, Page 211

07/21/2024

Written by: Jonathan Koerner  

They said surrender was for day one,

a thing for the shaking hands and broken souls,

but now I know—

it's for the seasoned hearts too proud to fall.

I wore my time like armor,

stacked meetings like medals,

quoted the Basic Text like scripture—

until silence crept in

and my ego whispered, You’ve arrived.

But still I spun,

powerless behind the wheel of my own will.

Turns out knowing is not living,

and recovery is not a story I finished telling at that time.

When prayer felt hollow

and self-talk stale,

I remembered the hands that once reached for me—

how it was action, not answers,

that saved my life.

So I came back,

not as the teacher,

but the taught,

not with pride,

but palms open wide,

saying again,

"I surrender."

Because this path isn’t walked once.

It’s a returning,

a daily dying of the old,

a humble nod to the Power

that keeps us whole.